Sometimes I grow so tired..
Dean sat behind the wheel of his baby. No destination in mind, he felt the simple joy of the road before him, a beautiful day around him, and the purr of baby beneath him. Slowly he relaxed, feeling at home. Reached over and pushed the cassette in without paying attention to the title and Ramble On filled the car.
Leaves are falling all around, it’s time I was on my way
Fingers tapping on the wheel as the music washes over him his thoughts wander back to Sam.
Ramble on, and now’s the time, the time is now,
The time spent in the bunker had been so good. A safe place, the same place, his own room, and his brother close by. Memories of Sammy drift by: staying at Bobby’s, telling him stories under the covers until he closed his eyes in sleep, throwing a ball, playing hide and seek, swimming in a pool at some no name hotel, tucking him in at night, opening his arms for him when the night became a fear filled place for his little brother. The Christmas Eve that he gave him the amulet, fireworks set off in the middle of a field, his first beer and sitting on the hood of the Impala watching the stars while sharing a six pack of beer and the stillness of the night.
Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I have one thing I got to do…
The one thing he had to do, “take care of your brother, Dean” Dad told him that every time he left and he had, fighting the bullies that picked on his little brother, giving him the last of the Lucky Charms, making sure Sammy had food even when he had none. Finding odd jobs to earn the money for clothes, food, school trips when dad was away longer than the money they had.
When had it changed? When did Sammy who looked to his big brother for approval become Sam who didn’t want his big brother’s approval? When the anger Sam felt for his dad did become the anger he felt for Dean? Yes Dean needed family: it was all he had, all he had been taught. When had he stopped being the big brother and just became a brother? When had Sam stopped needing family? When did he stop needing Dean?
Was it all true, that he needed his family more than they ever had needed him? Was it true that he saved Sam so he wouldn’t be alone?
Got no time to for spreadin’ roots, the time has come to be gone.
Midnight found Dean sitting on the hood of the car with a six pack watching the stars. Mind blank, heart sore, tired, and wanting some peace. He sat and watch as the stars were once again hidden by the sun’s light.
Tired of thinking, he got into Baby and drove to the nearest store bought salt, a magic marker, some boxers and socks and along with jeans and t-shirts. As he started to walk out he saw a duffle bag and grabbed it, that made it easier to take the stuff into the hotel and it was a good idea in hunting life to have some extra clothes. He drove to the nearest cheap hotel and checked in, opening the door to the clean but well used hotel room, it felt like home to him. He laid down the lines of salt and drew the anti-angel sigils and all the others quickly. Practice makes perfect and he had plenty of practice. He couldn’t do anymore, too tired, so pulling out his knife and placing it under the pillow, the gun and phone on the night stand beside him, he pulled off jeans and over shirt, he got into the bed and closed his eyes. Headache and heartache eased with the sounds of his youth, trucks rumbling by on the interstate, the bang of doors as people left to go about their day, the showers and the sound of people. Finally Dean feel asleep dreaming of days gone by when he had a father and brother.
A few hours’ later Dean woke feeling better than he had since the angels fell, checking his phone he realized he didn’t charge it yesterday so it was showing a low battery with the little dismiss box. Uhnnn, guess I need to get a charger, a car charger he corrected himself. It would be a good idea to have a spare one. Grabbing the bag of clothes he had purchased, headed into to take a long hot shower. Standing in the shower he stood face up into the spray and let the hot water beat down on him. What a break a good bed, hot shower with water pressure, now if I had coffee waiting, maybe Sammy. No Sam was back in the MOL bunker with his head in a book not thinking about his brother. Putting a stop to that train of thought, he remembered the little diner he passed a block or so before the hotel. In a fresh set of clothes Dean grabbed the knife and gun along with the keys and the definitely dead phone.
The jingle of the bell as he opened the door to the diner caused the locals to give him a once over, most nodding and some saying good day. He smiled and headed to a table in the back. From his position he could see all the exits with his back was against a solid wall. Feeling comfortable, he nodded when the waitress held up the coffee pot. A newspaper on the table caught his eye and he picked it up and read about an unexplained murder of a young man.
“Strange thing ‘bout that poor boy,” the waitress said as she poured his coffee, “his girlfriend was on the phone with him and he said he saw this young girl walking down the road and he was going to make sure she was okay. Then the phone went all weird and all she heard was the words, take me home.”
He was found in his car the inside of the car and him just covered in blood. Now I don’t know ‘bout what Katy, that’s his girl’s name, heard, but that don’t sound like the work of one girl to me!”
“Yeah, seems hard to believe, what do you think happened?” Dean smiled at her as he asked.
“Well, I think it was one of them vagrants, you know killed him cause they wanted to,” she said tapping her red fingernail against her teeth. “I’d knowed that boy all his life and he didn’t have anyone hate him that much. Matter of fact, him and Katy was going to get hitched. Guess it be a funeral now. Poor Katy widow before she was a bride.”
“What cha want sugar?” the waitress asked, holding pen and order pad.
Dean read her badge “Jenny, I would like the works, eggs scrambled well, bacon and hash browns and pancakes.” Jenny nodded and walked away, talking to the other diners as she passed their tables.
Now that is something that sounds strange, Dean thought as he read the article again. Just down the road, I can check it out and head back to the MOL bunker.
As he put the paper aside he didn’t notice the article regarding the unexpected death of a well known senator.